Broken Compass

Every step I took it was all in the name of you, you had me stuck to your book, man Im still glued. I'm busy looking to sky wondering why the hell you gave me the worst luck alive. They say I used to be a poetry emulator but now my rhymes sound like some third grader. I'm losing my touch on the world, to think this all began with some poor girl. Now I'm sitting in the same place wondering why I'm still here, I guess I've already faced all my fears. Death seems like a pace away but I see my friends and try to stay just one more day. Thinking maybe this time it'll all be worth it, but then one after another I fall and say forget it. People get lucky and the ones they miss come back, while I'm still being called a monster for having a panic attack. I'm not one to sit around and feel sorry for myself, I'm not my mom. It just gets on my nerves when I say nothing's wrong. When in all honesty this world is closing in on me, expecting me to do something that's not even me. I gave up drugs to have a reason to wake up in the morning, but now I'm way to quiet, distant and down right boring. People are so in need to get to know me, little do they know that it's not even close to who I want to be. I feel like I've wasted my life on music and rhythm, but I love it so much from a radio hit to a gospel hymn. I don't mean to get jealous, God, but I wish I was better, my mind is so mixed up I can't put it together. My music is every genre under the sun, but every time I write I say I'm doing it for fun. Which is a down right lie, I do it for personal therapy instead laying down to cry. I know I'm just a broken compass who lost my way with you, I just wish I had the balls a year ago to tell you the truth. And I'm sorry. Even with a broken compass the arrow still points directly to you. I just tell myself it's not right and walk away from all that you do.